Photo by Anusha Barwa on Unsplash

55 vs 25 : A Listicle of Realizations

My ass used to hold my shorts up

A listicle of realizations as I get older:

1. I’m ready to call it a night before my 25-year-old self would have even left the house.
2. The young girl waving at you is actually waving at the person behind you. Finally figured that one out.
3. You forget things you just did.
4. You forget things you just did
5. Cat and Dog videos are probably the best thing on the internet and TV.
6. Tums are a perfectly acceptable aphrodisiac before sex.
7. Ear hairs can grow over an inch in one night. I know it wasn’t there the day before!
8. Half my google searches are based on trying to figure out the slang words somebody used.
9. Opening a jar can lead to a forearm cramp with no genuine effort.

10. When somebody offers to carry something for you, let them.

11. You stop on a radio station because one of your favorite songs is playing, only to discover it’s the oldies station.

12. Your favorite shows and movies have been rebooted 3 times. Only the names of the characters are the same.